Driving Lessons – In an odd twist of fate, both my son and I are now taking “driving lessons” at the very same time.
My son, who recently turned fifteen, has taken the wheel with his white knuckled Dad sitting next to him. Each Sunday afternoon, after the parking lot has cleared at our church, we utilize the empty parking lot for Jeremy to begin to prepare for real, on-the-road driving. Jeremy carefully navigates the imaginary avenues of the parking lot, carefully signaling at each make-believe intersection. Despite being at the disadvantage of being coached by his Dad, Jeremy is making steady improvement.
My “driving” is of a different nature. At mid-life, I have hesitantly decided to take up golf. I say hesitantly, because my schedule cannot really absorb any new hobbies. When I briefly explored golf twenty years, frankly I was not good. Since I was younger and in better shape twenty-years ago, I preferred to spend my recreational time playing basketball which I have always loved. With addition of two active kids and their steady stream of activities, it was easy for me to quickly drop golf from my itinerary. However, recently I have more frequently missed out on good networking and social opportunities because I didn’t play golf. So I ordered some clubs online and scheduled some lessons with Josh, the pro at the golf club down the street. John Paul Newport in a recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, “Taking up Golf at Midlife,” wrote “Normally, I advise against it. You don't have enough time, I tell them, and it's a hard game for grown-ups to learn.” I wish I had read Newport’s advice before I shelled out the money for new golf clubs.
As Jeremy and I have both worked through our respective “driving lessons” I have noticed an interesting similarity. Both 15-year old teenage boys and middle-aged guys, don’t always like to admit they don’t have a handle on what they are doing and don’t like to be told what to do. Even at my advanced age I can remember as a teenager that hearing my parents’ corrections were like fingernails on a chalkboard to me no matter how right they were. Jeremy is a great kid but I sense his irritation and even empathize with him as I repeatedly tell him to “slow down, use his signal light, and check his mirrors.”
I understand even better how Jeremy feels when I am taking my golf lesson. My patient pro, Josh, reminds me, “Keep your head down. Keep your elbow straight. Narrow your stance. Don’t over-swing.” Uuugh! Shouldn’t I be too old to be having my numerous shortcomings pointed out in this manner? After all, I have been interviewed by Time Magazine. I have had my projects written about by Forbes and BusinessWeek. I have helped close a studio movie deal. You would think I could swing a stinking golf club without having all my flaws highlighted in such a belittling way. After all Josh wasn’t even born the first time I swung a club twenty-five years ago. Jeremy, I feel your pain.
But you know what? I do need Josh’s help. The funny thing is that when I keep my head down, keep my elbow straight, narrow my stance, and don’t over-swing, I can hit a decent golf shot. Don’t get me wrong. Tiger’s position atop of the leader board is secure. But when I follow Josh’s instructions, for the most part, innocent bystanders are safe from being hit by one of my shanked drives. Frankly, I haven’t practiced enough yet to consistently do all these things right without some intermittent coaching. My hope is that Jeremy too will eventually need my nagging driving instructions less and less as he practices.
The thing that Jeremy’s and my shared “driving lessons” have reminded me is that we need to never grow too old or too proud to accept instruction. For most all of us, there will always be someone who knows more about a topic than we do and could help us improve if we would only be open to a little coaching. My friend Tim Redmond used to remind us “to never discount the messenger or the method” when we are given feedback. Sometimes very useful coaching comes from unlikely people and may not be packaged or formatted in such a way that it is easy for us to receive. But we hurt only ourselves if we ignore much needed coaching, because it comes from someone we don’t really respect or is presented in a way that might hurt our pride. As you pursue your passion, be open to coaching; even if you think you shouldn’t need it at this point or it is being given from someone or in a manner that makes it hard to take. Yes Jeremy, that advice may even come from your Dad…… or from a golf pro half your age.
What are you passionate about? What are you doing about it?
My son, who recently turned fifteen, has taken the wheel with his white knuckled Dad sitting next to him. Each Sunday afternoon, after the parking lot has cleared at our church, we utilize the empty parking lot for Jeremy to begin to prepare for real, on-the-road driving. Jeremy carefully navigates the imaginary avenues of the parking lot, carefully signaling at each make-believe intersection. Despite being at the disadvantage of being coached by his Dad, Jeremy is making steady improvement.
My “driving” is of a different nature. At mid-life, I have hesitantly decided to take up golf. I say hesitantly, because my schedule cannot really absorb any new hobbies. When I briefly explored golf twenty years, frankly I was not good. Since I was younger and in better shape twenty-years ago, I preferred to spend my recreational time playing basketball which I have always loved. With addition of two active kids and their steady stream of activities, it was easy for me to quickly drop golf from my itinerary. However, recently I have more frequently missed out on good networking and social opportunities because I didn’t play golf. So I ordered some clubs online and scheduled some lessons with Josh, the pro at the golf club down the street. John Paul Newport in a recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, “Taking up Golf at Midlife,” wrote “Normally, I advise against it. You don't have enough time, I tell them, and it's a hard game for grown-ups to learn.” I wish I had read Newport’s advice before I shelled out the money for new golf clubs.
As Jeremy and I have both worked through our respective “driving lessons” I have noticed an interesting similarity. Both 15-year old teenage boys and middle-aged guys, don’t always like to admit they don’t have a handle on what they are doing and don’t like to be told what to do. Even at my advanced age I can remember as a teenager that hearing my parents’ corrections were like fingernails on a chalkboard to me no matter how right they were. Jeremy is a great kid but I sense his irritation and even empathize with him as I repeatedly tell him to “slow down, use his signal light, and check his mirrors.”
I understand even better how Jeremy feels when I am taking my golf lesson. My patient pro, Josh, reminds me, “Keep your head down. Keep your elbow straight. Narrow your stance. Don’t over-swing.” Uuugh! Shouldn’t I be too old to be having my numerous shortcomings pointed out in this manner? After all, I have been interviewed by Time Magazine. I have had my projects written about by Forbes and BusinessWeek. I have helped close a studio movie deal. You would think I could swing a stinking golf club without having all my flaws highlighted in such a belittling way. After all Josh wasn’t even born the first time I swung a club twenty-five years ago. Jeremy, I feel your pain.
But you know what? I do need Josh’s help. The funny thing is that when I keep my head down, keep my elbow straight, narrow my stance, and don’t over-swing, I can hit a decent golf shot. Don’t get me wrong. Tiger’s position atop of the leader board is secure. But when I follow Josh’s instructions, for the most part, innocent bystanders are safe from being hit by one of my shanked drives. Frankly, I haven’t practiced enough yet to consistently do all these things right without some intermittent coaching. My hope is that Jeremy too will eventually need my nagging driving instructions less and less as he practices.
The thing that Jeremy’s and my shared “driving lessons” have reminded me is that we need to never grow too old or too proud to accept instruction. For most all of us, there will always be someone who knows more about a topic than we do and could help us improve if we would only be open to a little coaching. My friend Tim Redmond used to remind us “to never discount the messenger or the method” when we are given feedback. Sometimes very useful coaching comes from unlikely people and may not be packaged or formatted in such a way that it is easy for us to receive. But we hurt only ourselves if we ignore much needed coaching, because it comes from someone we don’t really respect or is presented in a way that might hurt our pride. As you pursue your passion, be open to coaching; even if you think you shouldn’t need it at this point or it is being given from someone or in a manner that makes it hard to take. Yes Jeremy, that advice may even come from your Dad…… or from a golf pro half your age.
What are you passionate about? What are you doing about it?
3 comments:
I used to be really good at golf when I was a kid. People thought I would be a golf pro, I even played in a junior tournament with Tiger Woods (he was 10, I was 14 and he destroyed me). Sometimes the key to golf, and many things in life, is to just let go and have fun, there is just too much to think about!
Just think, if you keep at it, you'll someday get to take lessons from someone else who will "tinker" with your swing mechanics, or your grip, or your stance and screw everything up all over again (and you're paying them to do it, too!). Too bad there's not much opportunity to network in a game of hoops (those hard fouls tend to send the wrong message, I've found).
Post a Comment